You can sing it if you like, to the tune of “If I Only Had a Brain”. It’s full of dodgy rhymes and even dodgier scanning but, hey, could you write this well at three months old?

We could while away the hours
Relaxing on the towers
Dreaming every day away,
But the days are getting longer and the feelin’s getting stronger
That we really cannot stay

Living with my favourite bruvver (or sister: Ozzy)
There’ll be new things to discover
And some awesome games to play,
There’ll be boxes, bags and mousies waiting for us in our housies
On the day we go away

We’ll be meeting brand new minions
And forming our opinions
Of their personalities,
Do they have a sense of humour, are the cupboards full of tuna?
Vital questions such as these

It’ll feel a little scary
We will all be rather wary
Moving on to pastures new,
But we’ll be brave and gallant moggies, growling at the local doggies
Just like mama used to do

We will miss our kitten brothers (and sister: Munchie)
And the loving of our mother
Our adoring public too,
And Bartlett and Bunny, who we thought were really funny
And not forgetting Pantseroo

But we wouldn’t be here croonin’
If we hadn’t met a hoomin
Who ensured our lives could start,
So not un-naturelly, it’s to Foster Mama Shelly
That the Ozlings give their heart